10 October 2007

Struggle Street

I had another interesting conversation with God this evening.

To set the context, I've been becoming increasingly frustrated with the futility of my job. For one, I still don't feel like I'm particularly good at it. For another, even if I get things right, it doesn't seem to result in any progress, it just qualifies me to move on to the next ultimately futile task. It's all meaningless and a chasing after the wind I tell you. And I just got confirmation that a couple of my good friends are leaving Darwin, which means I wont get to visit them next year after all, unless I do something really weird like travel to Spain via Dunedin. Hmmm…

To make matters worse, I had just been roundly thrashed at chess. Again. I knew I was in trouble (two pawns down) but I thought there might be a chance for a chirpy counter attack, when my opponent pushed his rook forward and said "checkmate". Bugger!

Consequently I was walking home from chess in a rather disheartened mood, so to take my mind off the game I started whinging to God (I do this a lot).

Me: God this really sucks. I'm not achieving anything here. I feel like I'm even further away from the things I'm passionate about than I was in Adelaide, and I can't even win a stupid game of chess.
God: Well what do you want me to do about it?
Me: I dunno… Rescue me or something. If I'm supposed to be here to learn something, then teach me already, because I'm starting to struggle.
God: Exactly. It's in the struggling that you learn what you're here to learn. Just trust me already.
Me: Yeah but… hmmm…
God: Checkmate.

Bugger!

Far from home



Garry with 2 Rs
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