21 June 2010


Well, it’s been a while since I posted a piece on how awesome I am.

Okay, it’s been about three weeks. But this time I’ve actually got something worth bragging about. Sort of. This is my one hundredth Far From Home/Cum Tacent Clament post.

“There’s a roar from the crowd and a grateful acknowledgement from the members. 100 posts in three and a half years, on two different websites and on four different continents. A superb innings in difficult conditions. Your thoughts, Richie?”

“Yes it’s been a marvellous display this. There’s been some stiff opposition at times from the combined pace attacks of England and Adelaide as well as an entertaining battle with the off-spin of AAMI insurance company. But it’s definitely Garry’s aggressive and off-beat approach that has won the day, thanks in no small part to some excellent support at the other end.”

“Yes, that’s right. I thought the partnership before lunch with Oxfam Girl was particularly good. It wasn’t the most elegant or conventional display we’ve seen, but there was no denying the sheer brute power of Oxfam Girl. When she hits them, they stay hit.”

“Yes, but all the attention was at the other end, of course, where Garry with 2 Rs has treated us all to an impressive demonstration of loquacious stroke play. He was seeing the ball as clear as a bell and large as a beach ball, and settled in early to play his natural game.”

“Yes. Now, if you’ll have a look on this replay here, you can see that Hillsong is clearly offside as she launches a cut-out pass to Samantha who backhands it down the line towards deep forward pocket for a birdie. That’s a home run in any pool in Australia.”

“The really interesting thing about it is… wait. … what?”

“Sorry, I think something’s gone wrong with the metaphor generator”.

“Ah crap. Cut to classic catches while the tech guys sort it out.”

Meanwhile I’ve passed a couple of other milestones lately. I’ve reached ten runs for the season for Palmerston (unusual), brought my net debt to the bank to under $30,000 (unimpressive) and turned twenty seven (unprecedented). Also, the cool change I mentioned a couple of posts ago is looming like the edge of a monsoonal trough. But more on that anon.

I was hoping to be able to coincide my one hundredth post with my one thousandth hit since installing my hit counter, but I actually passed that back in April sometime, and I’m coming up on twelve hundred now. And I think only about half of them are my mother. The rest are probably me and Kirribilli Kim, but it’s still an achievement, right?

More importantly, the time has come to stop borrowing sign-off lines from other people. This has less to do with passing a milestone than it does with the fact that I’ve pretty much run out of ideas, but that’s beside the point.

Rehearsals for A Midsummer Night’s Dream are going well, and we’re into production week now. When I say well, I mean that the director and stage manager are starting to get a little desperate, but so far it hasn’t exceeded my normal day-to-day operational level of desperation, so I feel like I’m keeping up okay. I might even be slightly ahead. Either way, since the show opens this weekend it could be a while before I have enough spare time to post again, but you can expect a full update on all the goings on backstage, including all the juicy gossip about how many cast members managed not to fall hopelessly in love with Phil Denson.

Once the play is done and dusted, I’ve got a month full of family visits coming up. This means getting my house looking presentable and making sure my car is serviced and spotless before my father gets his hands on it. And somewhere in there, we’re still planning on shooting a short film. So yes, life continues at its normal operational level of desperation.

And just a brief reminder: this post will not feature a carefully selected borrowed sign-off line.

Garry with 2 Rs
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