Expert Advice

A lot of people stop me in the street and ask me “Garry, how do you manage to be so consistently awesome?” I generally give people a reasonably humble response, about investing a lot of practice and watching a lot of television, but honestly, the secret is to always look like you know what you’re talking about.

I’ve also often been told it’s very difficult to tell the difference between when I’m being deliberately ridiculous and when I’m being dead serious. And as for the times when I’m being accidentally ridiculous; well who knows what that looks like?

But the problem with always looking like I know what I’m doing is that people tend to think that I always know what I’m doing. This can be a bit of a problem when people ask me questions about things that I don’t actually know anything about. The fact that I’m quite capable of giving an answer with a straight face doesn’t make it a good idea to ask me in the first place. There really is no way to know whether I’m full of it or not. But seriously, if in doubt, bet on ‘full of it’.

In the last two weeks, people have asked me to do a whole bunch of things of varying levels of ridiculousness, including: fixing a computer, being a scout leader, fixing the tenor section, managing the training department (what?), blocking a Nerf bullet with just a plastic light sabre (to be fair, I’m getting pretty good at this) interpreting Ephesians, landing a 747 that was on fire (okay, not really), running a social media marketing campaign (Okay, seriously. What?) and finding a fourth thing to blog about in February (Success!).

But by all means, go ahead and continue to trust me with your increasingly insane requests. Who knows what new and fantastic things I might be able to pretend to be good at next week?




Garry with 2 Rs