Written for and first presented at Happy Yess Comedy April 2014 - Good vs Evil
They've come to us from foreign lands
With nothing to offer in their sunburnt hands
They meet our eyes and we look the other way
They're forced to spend their lives on the street
Begging for money from the people they meet
So Australia won't you join me
For Charity Spruiker Awareness Day
Who do you turn to when you need an answer
On endangered species, or a cure for cancer?
But whatever the issue we know the story ends:
"I'm just bringing you this information
I'm sorry but can't except a cash donation
But if you'll give your credit card number we can still be friends.
Because if every Australian could donate
The cost of one cup of coffee, or a single plate
Of spaghetti a week to get behind the task
That would give our spruiker friends here
And income of approximately 5.38 billion dollars a year
Come on Australia, is that really too much to ask?
And I know that every single one of us
Has been stopped by a spruiker when we're late for the bus
Saying "Can I ask you just one question" and standing in the way
But if we didn't these people to attack us
We'd lose a chance to flirt with hot backpackers.
So join me tonight for Charity Spruiker Awareness Day.
Make of that what you will.
Garry with 2 Rs