Completely Pointless

This post is almost completely bereft of any point in its own right.

This will hardly come as a shock to regular readers, many of whom may now be thinking the same could be said of most of the other posts here.

Well, shut up.

This post is even more pointless than usual because the only reason I'm writing it is to remind you that some time soon this whole pointless managerie is up and moving out.

www.garrycondoseres.com is just about ready for launch. I'll post another equally pointless update when it's finally ready to go, but for now... carry on.

Make of that what you will



Garry with 2 Rs

I Protest

Last week Joe Hockey and the Government delivered one of the most hotly debated federal budgets for a long time. Across the country lobby groups, welfare advocates and disgruntled lefties have gone into meltdown, attacking the budget as heartless, hypocritical, unfair and, of course, sexist. Some of the more active objectors have taken to public protests as a result.

I’m not here to comment on the merits of the budget either way, but I am simultaneously amused and horrified at exactly what people consider to be a good protest these days.

The highest profile protest was, of course, the group that joined the audience of QandA to protest whatever it was Christopher Pyne was trying to say. They managed to cause a significant enough disturbance that the programme had to be suspended while the protest was dealt with. Similar groups have joined the audience since that night and attempted similar disturbances, but ABC management and the unflappable Tony Jones have been keeping a tight rein on audiences, prompting some viewers to condemn the show as undemocratic.

Other groups have attempted to physically intimidate Julie Bishop (are they mad? I wouldn’t take her on…) while earlier this week a public lecture by former Liberal MP Sophie Mirabella had to be abandoned because she couldn’t be heard over the protest groups angry at what the government she is no longer a part of is doing.

And following the illustrious and not-at-all-pointless March in March, many activists have begun to organise and execute the imaginatively-named “March in May” events. I can’t wait to see what they come up with next month. The key players in all this describe the protests as “democracy in action," which all sounds very stirring and admirable, except for one small problem.

It’s bullshit.

Democracy has nothing to do with being loud enough to drown out your opposition. It has nothing to do with confronting your political opponents with physical resistance, or with causing public discussions to be shut down. Democracy – the rule of the people – is about giving equal voice to all points of view, and then allowing the public to vote on what they want. The voices and votes of people you don’t agree with count just as much as your own, whether you like it or not. Indeed, there are systems of government that routinely use force and coercion to silence their opponents, but they aren’t democracies. As Winston Churchill put it: “it has been said that democracy is the worst from of government – except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time”.

You know what democracy in action really looks like? An election. Like the one the current Government won less than a year ago. If you have a problem with their policies, fine. So do I. But don’t let’s kid ourselves that shouting the government down by being as noisy as possible has anything to do with democracy. Even if your protest chant rhymes, the only place you’re likely to get any credit for it is in a middle school poetry recital. And even then, probably not.

And I’m not saying don’t protest. By all means jump up and down until you are blue in the face to get your point across. I may well join you. The country needs a diverse range of opinions to function as an effective democracy. But if the highest form of debate you can manage is chanting your two-liner over and over until everyone else gives up and goes home, you haven’t won the debate. You’ve killed it.

On the other hand, you could look amongst your ranks to find the skilled orators, talented minds and experienced analysts among you to craft a decent argument. You could have someone stand up respectfully and ask it on QandA (if that's still a forum you take seriously), or post it on your own blog, or write to your newspaper or local member. There are plenty of ways to articulate your point of view politely and effectively.

And if you don’t have any skilled orators, talented minds or experienced analysts…

SHUT THE HELL UP

and leave the debate to the grown-ups.

Make of that what you will.




Garry with 2 Rs

Check This

I’m still struggling to find work over here.

The rejection letters are piling up, my motivation to persist in what appears to be a futile endeavour is at an all-time low. You can only expend so much energy for zero result before the idea of expending ever increasing amounts of energy at an increased rate begins to look less like diligence and more like time wasting. It’s been said: 

Winners never quit and quitters never win. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.

I was complaining about this to a colleague this week who told me ever so lovingly and socially aware…ly that I have a roof and a part time job already and I have food. I should really check my privilege.

What should have happened next is this:

I glared at her right in her socially conscious eyes, lowered my voice to that dangerous level my friends could tell you about, and paused while I waited for the strings section to start. Just quietly at first, but with the sort of tremulous crescendo that tells you someone’s about to say something very significant (Thanks Aaron Sorkin).

“Check my privilege? I know exactly where my privilege is. How could I miss it? It’s been shoved down my throat every day since I was eight. Every time I’ve achieved something, only to be told it’s not worth as much as the girls’ achievements because of gender equality. Every time I’ve striven as hard as I can to meet the standard expected of me, only to see the standard lowered to assist those who come after me, because of equal opportunities. Every time I’ve filled out the diversity section of a job application, knowing full well that my “privilege” is placing me at a marked disadvantage (Piano part comes in here).

“I’m aware that my demographic does not face the same challenges as other ethnic, social or minority groups. My challenges are very different and I accept that. But I didn’t choose to be part of my demographic any more than anyone else did. I had access to a safe upbringing and a quality education that others might not have had access to, it’s true. But I got that opportunity because my parents worked damned hard and gave up a lot of stuff for me and my sister. If being white placed my parents at an economic advantage, I don’t think they got the memo (inspirational French horn solo). Respectfully, they might have done a lot better for themselves in Darwin if they were Greek or Chinese. There were plenty of other white boys at my school who went on to achieve nothing at all, so don’t tell me the things I do don’t count because I’m male, middle-class and white. 

"And if you call me Anglo-anything I’m going to punch you right in your racially insensitive throat. I’m Australian. I have never been to England and am not allowed to even if I wanted to, which I don’t. I despise England, its culture, its cricket team and everything it stands for as a country (Floor toms. Oh yeah, this is awesome). If you have a problem with my past, then fine, but if you call me Anglo again you're about to have a problem with my present.

"And I’m not even saying things have to change to help me out. I’m saying that when I raise a problem I’m having, don’t just ignore me because "people like me shouldn’t have problems". If I complain about a service that isn’t working, don’t expect me to leave you alone and fill out a form on the internet and then ignore me again. And if I tell you that I’m struggling, don’t send me into counselling to teach me that everything is fine and I’m just thinking wrong. (Bright trumpets and the sound of crowds cheering in the background! Cop that!)

"I didn’t choose any of this. I was born male, white and clever. I’m pretty sure you weren’t born self-righteous, judgmental and rude. Check your attitude, bitch! (booming brass finale, roll end credits)”.

What actually happened next is this:

“I suppose you’re right.” 

And I walked away and calmly got on with my day, because the same privileged upbringing that she so resents in me has taught me to be polite and not yell at people in the street. And I left my symphony orchestra at home today.

Look, I’m not saying she doesn’t have a point. But it’s one thing to help the “under-privileged” with extra concessions. It’s quite another to tell me that nothing I do, say or experience is worth a damn because I’m a white man. And don’t tell me no-one is saying that. I’m well aware of that. But I’m also sure I’m not the only white man who feels like he’s supposed to apologise for who he is every time he needs something and has had enough. Is it any wonder mental illness and suicide rates among men are out of control in our country? Fortunately, my privileged background, upbringing and education have made me strong enough and smart enough not to hurt myself or anyone else, but that's not the case for everyone.

Next time you ask me to check my privilege, consider well what might happen if I did.

Garry with 2 Rs

Profile

Personality quizzes don’t work on me.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a Myers-Briggs test in a psychology textbook or a “What flavour paddle-pop are you?” quiz on Facebook; they don’t work on me. Usually they either end up telling me I’m simultaneously extroverted and introverted, calm, manic, leader, follower, quiet and loud and upside down, or that I’m rainbow flavoured when I’m obviously the choc-banana one. Even classical astrology can’t make up its mind whether I’m Gemini, Cancer or Asparagus.

This is part of the reason why I get so upset about it when I apply for jobs and have to do an online aptitude test first. I have absolutely no confidence in the ability of a computer to understand who I am based on a thirty question quiz. Human beings have been trying this for thirty years and haven’t really gotten anywhere.

Well, I guess there’s at least one person who has some vague idea what’s going on here.

Kim and I registered for some pre-marital counseling this week. We’re meeting with a minister to get some guidance on what stuff we need to sort out before August, which seems a wise idea since it’s ONLY THREE FREAKING MONTHS AWAY!

Ahem…

You can imagine my enthusiasm when the minister told me the first step in the guidance process was to fill out an online questionnaire to compare my approach to the universe to Kim’s and decide what we need to be talking about.

It was a great success. After we’d both entered all our answers and submitted the test, we had a long, deep and powerful conversation. Finally we agreed: Online personality tests are stupid.

We haven’t got the marriage prep survey results back yet, but I’m pretty sure the computer will be okay with us getting married. If not, I’m sure we’ll have a very open, honest, emotive and defenestrative discussion with the computer.

I feel better already.

Garry with 2 Rs